Senseless Sunday #Sarcasm : Late

Dingo Mutt:  It’s Sunday! Why is mom still in bed?

Fat White Dog:  I don’t know.  Rottie Mutt licked her face at sunrise.  You jumped  around yipping in her ears, and I fell on her legs.

DM:   It’s her usual routine to yell, “Eww…What the hell!…Owwwwwww,” and she’s up.  

FWD:  She fed the cat, but then she laid on the pillow listening to talk radio.

DM:   That was 3 hours ago!  Humans can’t listen and snore at the same time.

FWD:  I know.  Sometimes I wonder how humans have survived this long. We have to do their job for them!  A grasshopper was at the far end of the fence and I had to bark at it, then I smelled a coon 3 miles away.  Intolerable! After that…

DM:  Mom had to go to work the next day. Why do you think dad blocked the doggie door?

FWD:  I was doing my job!

DM:  You were waking mom up every time you put the weight of your 68 pound body on one foot and used her thigh as your springboard.  

FWD:  So?

DM: Dad can stand her screaming only so many times.  If you were any dumber you’d have the brains of a cat!

FWD:  You don’t need to insult me.

DM:  *sigh* When is mom going to be up.  It’s almost time to ride to her scrabble game and sniff our friend’s butts.

FWD:  Micro-Mutt, Ms. Wiggles, Weiner Dog and the one who scares the hell out of me?  Their mom gets so mad when I roll on them.  

DM:  I don’t go near the Tiny Terror.  I want to live.

FWD:  Mom!

DM:  She’s coming out the door with her tea, her lunch and some snacks. 

FWD:  And this week, she remembered to bring dog biscuits for me.

DM:  You like to stay with mom while she’s there for hours.  I like to ride 4 times.  

FWD:  Four times?

DM:  There and back…there and back.

FWD:  I want to go but…biscuits.  I want to go, but I want to be with mom.  I want…

HUMANS:  Everybody in the car.

FWD:  *staring out the window*  Pizza!  Barbecue!  Cats! Rats!  

DM:  Rocks have a longer memory than you.

FWD:  Grass!  Trees! Birds…