Senseless Sunday #Sarcasm : Late
Dingo Mutt: It’s Sunday! Why is mom still in bed?
Fat White Dog: I don’t know. Rottie Mutt licked her face at sunrise. You jumped around yipping in her ears, and I fell on her legs.
DM: It’s her usual routine to yell, “Eww…What the hell!…Owwwwwww,” and she’s up.
FWD: She fed the cat, but then she laid on the pillow listening to talk radio.
DM: That was 3 hours ago! Humans can’t listen and snore at the same time.
FWD: I know. Sometimes I wonder how humans have survived this long. We have to do their job for them! A grasshopper was at the far end of the fence and I had to bark at it, then I smelled a coon 3 miles away. Intolerable! After that…
DM: Mom had to go to work the next day. Why do you think dad blocked the doggie door?
FWD: I was doing my job!
DM: You were waking mom up every time you put the weight of your 68 pound body on one foot and used her thigh as your springboard.
DM: Dad can stand her screaming only so many times. If you were any dumber you’d have the brains of a cat!
FWD: You don’t need to insult me.
DM: *sigh* When is mom going to be up. It’s almost time to ride to her scrabble game and sniff our friend’s butts.
FWD: Micro-Mutt, Ms. Wiggles, Weiner Dog and the one who scares the hell out of me? Their mom gets so mad when I roll on them.
DM: I don’t go near the Tiny Terror. I want to live.
DM: She’s coming out the door with her tea, her lunch and some snacks.
FWD: And this week, she remembered to bring dog biscuits for me.
DM: You like to stay with mom while she’s there for hours. I like to ride 4 times.
FWD: Four times?
DM: There and back…there and back.
FWD: I want to go but…biscuits. I want to go, but I want to be with mom. I want…
HUMANS: Everybody in the car.
FWD: *staring out the window* Pizza! Barbecue! Cats! Rats!
DM: Rocks have a longer memory than you.
FWD: Grass! Trees! Birds…