#WQWWC Writers Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge – #cat Happiness
Greetings unworthy humans. My name is Coon Cat. The useless bag of fur next to me is Other Brother Coon Cat (OBCC). If a flea had his brains it would die trying to suck blood from a tree.
We had a real mom once, endowed with 4 legs and a purr. Then, one day we were put into a car and dropped off by the side of a dirt road.
You might not know this about OBCC, but he was endowed with a set of lungs that could put an opera singer to shame. I told him it was all a mistake, mom would find us and carry us back home. But, no, he had to be the only kitten in existence afraid of weeds! You should’ve heard him squawk at the top of his lungs!
It’s beneath the dignity of a cat to have a human scoop you up and take you into a strange home. We were almost eaten by her dog, so she walked next door and asked the people with 5 dogs if they wanted us.
Really? One dog with a taste for cat wasn’t enough?
If there’s a bright side to this fiasco, it got OBCC over his fear of weeds.
We thought of this new human as a cat, and slept next to her head cuddled in her long hair. If you’re a kitten, happiness is being next to a human on her soft, warm pillow. We never left her side for months and purred her to sleep every night.
Kittens are stupid like that.
As you can see from the picture, Stupid never stopped being a kitten. He’s so content, so happy, he makes me sick!
Humans are supposed to worship us. He begs for treats by sitting on her keyboard looking cute. I sit on the desk and stare at her as if she’s lower than scum, like cats are supposed to do.
I’ll try to be content with having only half of her desk to sleep on, while I’m plotting ways to take over the other half, too.