How to ruin your own day

Nothing like being up at 1:45 in the morning with fire in the gut. I know exactly what caused it: Fork in mouth disease.
 
You’d think the Mexican hat dance in my stomach at 10:00 yesterday morning would be enough to stop the self-inflicted torture.
 
Not.
 
Some day, possibly when I’m 110 years old, I’m going to understand that anything with flavor (such as the delicious breakfast casserole someone brought to the office), coffee, bread…life… CAN’T be a part of a gastroparesis diet.
 
But…but…
  • the coffee kept me awake in the evil A/C yesterday.
  • bread is such chewy deliciousness (and so is mayo)
  • and FLAVOR is to die for!
The gastroparesis diet consists of no raw fruit or veggies, no coffee, no interesting and !!!for God’s sake!!! no flavorful mystery dishes. It’s basically a dentist’s and dietician’s nightmare of highly processed, baby food-like low fat substances as appetizing as paste, and all the butterscotch candies you want.
.
I was a good little dieter for the first 10 years.   Until I rediscovered pizza.  And then an epic battle began:  
.
Brain…ummm.  
Stomach…OW!  
.
And thus began a new error era of understanding.  ‘Tis better to risk the stomach’s wrath than to spend the remainder of your life as a walking skeleton obsessed with what you can and cannot eat.
.
I’d say that there’s no use losing sleep over it, but my stomach is refusing to listen (the one thing it has in common with my brain).