Fun with pies ( or #cooking with #humor )
“It was the worst of pies, it was the best of pies…”
by Charreled Piekins.
Not really, but I couldn’t resist.
I love sweet potato pie, but I haven’t found a recipe yet that doesn’t make me gag from the sugar or cinnamon overload.
After 3 or 4 tries, I think I’m getting close to Joelle’s Optimal Sweet Potato Pie.
Now, if I could only remember EXACTLY how I did it.
First, I start with frozen pie crust. Yes, I like the real thing better. Unfortunately, every time I try to make it myself it’s like wrapping pie filling in leather. Please, no crusty advice. I’ve heard it, tried it and…just as Ann Landers could never make jello, I’m a failure at making pie crust.
For all the adventurous cooks out there, here’s what (I think) I did:
- Take the Libby’s Famous Pumpkin Pie recipe and prepare to ruin it.
- Boil the peeled and cut potatoes in water to cover. Add a tablespoon or 2 of butter. I’d estimate that I used at least 4 giant-sized specimens. Since I’m not sure, skip to #3.
- Substitute 33-34 oz of Sweet potato in place of the pumpkin and then throw in the remaining stick of butter. Mix until the butter disappears.
- Substitute 3 large egg because 2 isn’t going to hold it together. Multiply that by 2 because you’re going to have 2 3/4 pies when you pour it into the frozen pie shells. Okay! I should’ve said you’ll have to use 6 eggs from the very beginning!
- In the place of 3/4 cup sugar, you’ll need between 1 1/2 – 2 cups granulated sugar.
- Add 1/2 cup dark brown sugar.
- double the spices. I like a nice, rounded teaspoon of cinnamon.
You’ll notice that the only thing that stays the same is, “One 12-oz can of evaporated milk.” The river Jordan does NOT belong in a pie crust.
“How do you make your pies so smooth,” A friend once asked.
Here’s my secret: Pour filling into a blender to about 1/2 full. Push the button and watch it mushify the contents. Pour that into a clean bowl. Repeat until all of the filling has been liquified and then mix it together with a spatula to make sure that the flavor will be even.
Yes, it’s important to mix the hell out of it. Believe me, you don’t want to bite into a piece of pie and find out the cinnamon refused to cooperate.
Bake it at 425F for 15 minutes and 350F until a toothpick comes out clean…er. It’s never going to be absolutely clean. I love my oven, but I think it inherited its compliance abilities from the cinnamon.
There you have it. If you try my recipe, please let me know if anyone lived.