Things that make me go, “Why?”
Things that belong under the heading of,
- In public restrooms: Why do hand driers in Florida spin out hot air while hand driers in Minnesota blast out cold air?
- In Florida offices: Why does it feel like I’m going from the oven to the freezer to the desk (table) during the summer and like I’m going from the freezer to the oven to the table when I walk into an office during the winter?
What am I…corning ware?
- Why are 1/2 the people in Florida sick from Thanksgiving to spring?
- Isn’t winter miserable enough without getting chills when it’s below 70 degrees?
Go ahead, world, laugh at the fact that true Floridians are acclimated to 100 degree weather with 100 degree humidity and no air conditioning.
You think it’s so cool that you’re toasty warm while your best friend in Vermont is digging out of the latest blizzard:
You howl out your glee when you’re strutting down the beach in your swim wear and you stumble on this sight:
But we’re the ones laughing when you come to Florida in September and end up looking like this
while we’re looking like this
…and you’re too busy suffering from heat stroke to enjoy it!
If you want to know what Florida is like in the summer,
- visit Disney World in July,
- walk on the beach at night without bug repellent, and
- then forget to put on your sun block when you visit a water park.
If you’re not in a burn unit and covered in bug bites, you haven’t seen the real Florida.
When will you know you’ve finally participated in your own personal Florida reality show? The moment this is at the top of your “Why?” list:
“Why the hell did I ever think I wanted to live in Florida! I’d rather shovel snow!”