The Coon Cat speaks

a stalking

CAT:  Put the camera down and help me out.  I want you to pull this tick off my butt.

HUMAN:  Wait while I fetch the gauntlets.

CAT:  Do you take me for a wussy?

HUMAN:  No.  I had a tick on a hemorrhoid once, and it wasn’t pretty.  The damned thing kept digging in further.  Had I claws at the time, I would’ve reamed myself a new one trying to get it off.

CAT:  Well, are you going to get the thick-ass gloves or continue talking at me while I die from blood loss?  

HUMAN:  Just what I needed today, a ticked off cat with a burr up his ass.